


you are, by far, the brightest star i've ever seen

by superultra



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: I hate myself, M/M, This is DUMB, ashton is @god, how do i tag stuff on here, luke hemmings is bæ, sort of unrequited love except not really, wow im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-07-08
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:35:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1918365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superultra/pseuds/superultra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>luke's never been in love before, but every time he meets ashton's eyes he feels like all of the calcium in his bones is dissolving</p>
            </blockquote>





	you are, by far, the brightest star i've ever seen

**Author's Note:**

> this is stupid and i am stupid and luke is stupid and ashton is stupid and i don't know where i thought i was going with this

       ashton huffs out a small laugh and curls a butter-smooth hand around luke's. there are no stars in the sky tonight, luke notices. just a dark velvet curtain hung over the world, embroidered with a single white stroke. he's pretty certain it's the moon, but he can't drag his eyes away from the boy lying next to him long enough to know for sure.

       the sharp cut of ashton's jawline is making luke regret wearing such restricting pants, and he could write sonnets about the shadows that his eyelashes cast (well, try to, anyway. there's a reason he hated school.) it takes him a few moments to realize that ashton is staring back, hazel eyes calculating. somehow his gaze is more intense than the city that moves beneath them. this should probably concern luke. how can this boy, this god-fucking _petite_ twenty-year-old boy with delicate ankles and stupidly cute dimples be so _big_ at the same time? how can he be so loud and bright and endearing while also just barely reaching luke's chin?

       luke thinks it's ironic that this tinytinytiny boy is such an enormous part of his life. he also thinks it's a bit ridiculous. ashton's lips are quirked up in a soothing little smile that manages to make him look utterly adorable and painstakingly fuckable at the same time, and oh, that's nice. that's super nice. luke's lungs have stopped functioning.

       it's these quiet grins that remind him that ashton is not always some huge, unreachable spirit. he's reserved sometimes, too; has his secrets, his moments of silence - and they're just as much a part of him as his loud ones are. ashton is a meteor, and shut up, okay, luke likes making cosmic metaphors. ashton is a meteor and he's always speeding straight for luke, always ready to crash right into his bloodstream. luke's never been in love before, but every time he meets ashton's eyes he feels like all of the calcium in his bones is dissolving. he wonders briefly when he became a walking cliché and figures it was probably the first time he saw ashton pull his lips around a smile.

       ashton is humming a song luke vaguely remembers hearing off of one of his drunken mix-tapes. ashton made his first one after returning from a house party when he was a junior and luke was a freshman. luke hadn't gone to this particular one, opting to stay home and work on some song writing - much to sixteen-year-old ashton's dismay - and therefore was the sober one stuck with the job of tucking ashton into a safe bed without his parents finding out.

       after several sweat-soaked minutes of luke assisting a flushed and giggling boy up the stairs, he thought ashton would immediately fall asleep. he did not, however, anticipate that ashton would head straight for luke's computer. he allowed him to mess around with it - while he monitored, of course. there were some... _compromising_ videos and search histories that didn't need to be analyzed by any eyes save his own, thank you very much. (luke, at this stage in time, had begun the embarrassing and treacherous journey of discovering his sexuality.)

       before long, luke was becoming drowsy. against his better judgment, he decided to just crawl in bed and let ashton continue with his little internet scavenge. the videos were hidden quite well anyway, and if worse came to worst, he could just rub the back of his neck awkwardly and make up some half-assed excuse about keeping them saved as a joke.

       it was ten in the morning when he finally grumbled to himself and stumbled blindly out of bed. upon returning from the bathroom, he took notice of a small, silver disc near his computer. thick black ink coated most of the surface, and with further inspection, he realized it was a cd.

       gingerly picking it up, his eyes scanned the "music that isn't shit for my lukeyyyy <3" scrawled across the top in the messy signature of his best friend. maybe he should've been bothered that ashton had used one of his blank cds without consulting him first, but the only thing he could feel at that moment was inexplicable fondness. heat rushed to his cheeks as he bit back a mortifyingly big smile. how could ashton make cute little gestures like this and not expect luke to harbor the world's biggest and stupidest and most unrequited crush in the world? it was unfair, really.

       with a heartbeat too quick for comfort, he popped the disc into his sound system and pressed play. immediately he snorted, because the first track was of course "stacy's mom." luke really should not have expected a terribly deep and profound playlist, considering ashton's lack of sobriety. he grinned and sang quietly under his breath as he waited for the rest of the tracks.

       they progressively became less silly, and by the time luke had reached 'i miss you' by blink 182, he was blinking back tears. not because the collection of music was particularly sad, but because it was so... _them._ all of the songs were ones they had listened to or found together at some point, and it was almost as if ashton had made a soundtrack to sum up their friendship.

       luke tugged at the hem of his sweater as the next song started, chewing on his bottom lip. the word "friendship" bore into his brain like a fluorescent sign. had ashton ever had the kind of thoughts luke was having? and if so, were they ever specifically about him?

       a naïve version of hope sizzled in his chest, but was soon extinguished by luke's crippling self-doubt. he was boring and quiet and young. ashton would want someone his age, not someone who still had baby fat and too much acne scattered around his face. and why was luke even using masculine pronouns? ashton was more than likely straight - he had never so much as mentioned the idea of liking dudes. yes, they were the touchy-feely kind of best friends, but it was all platonic. ashton wouldn't even _consider_  someone like luke. he was so... _out there_ and unashamed and beautiful. he had millions of facets to his personality and he made luke constantly feel like honey was trickling down his throat and luke didn't know what to fucking _do._ because, like, _hello_ \- having a crush on your guy best friend is not something you can prepare for. it's not something that can be shrugged off or set aside.

       fuck, when did luke even start liking guys? when did _that_ happen? he'd never given a second-glance to the way a boy's back muscles rippled until ashton came tumbling into his life. now all he could ever think about was how ashton's hipbones felt pressed into his side when it was two in the morning and they were cuddling in the dark. ashton was so many colors and so many songs and so many surprises and luke didn't know how he was supposed to keep up, but he did know he was going to spend the rest of his years trying.

       luke clears his throat, extracting himself from his tangled thoughts and splintered ideas. he takes one more look up at the clear, ink-stained heavens above before returning his fond gaze to the silhouette of his best friend. he's gotten a bit closer to figuring his shit out now that he's almost eighteen, and some days he feels like they're both inches away from crossing this huge metaphorical bridge to something else. he'll wait forever for ash, though - as non-punk as that sounds - because he knows this boy is it for him.  

       in the meantime, he'll stick to trying to impress him with jokes and ridiculously sweet thoughts. he's got this theory, you see, that all of the stars in the sky are embarrassed to be out with ashton around, because they know they could never outshine him.

      (luke voices this out loud and receives a bruising kiss, so. metaphorical bridge crossed.)

**Author's Note:**

> im sorry  
> also the title is from a lana song


End file.
